I’ve been opening up more and more about my anxiety. I find the more I do that the less power my anxiety has over me. I have written about going to the doctor and how I didn’t want to take a pill every day. It was hard for me when he told me that he felt I needed an every day pill to manage my symptoms.
I trust my doctor and his reasoning, so we started out on the lowest dose of the daily pills that they have.
My Doc had told me it would take a few weeks for me to see a difference, and that once I did, he felt it would make a huge change for me. After I left his office I started talking to people about things I did or didn’t do daily and realized just how much my anxiety was affecting my daily life. So I took the pills.
After a couple of weeks, I wasn’t sure if they were helping at all, and was actually thinking about going back to my doctor to tell him nothing had changed.
I was out and about and planned on doing only 2 errands, as that is usually my max and then I need to come home and be done for the day or a couple of days. But I thought I don’t really want to have to come back out so I might as well do them all at once. And then I realized I was hungry. So I might as well stop for Tim Hortons.
For 6+ years whenever we go to Tim Hortons, I get a cinnamon raisin bagel toasted with butter, and a medium coffee just cream. I was pulling in and I thought blah I don’t want a cinnamon raisin bagel, I think I will get something else. And then I was shocked with myself. This seems small and silly when I tell others. But I hadn’t realized how sick of those bagels I was. How I just ordered them because I could easily say it and not stumble over what I wanted. No decisions, just get this. I can say it really fast too. Just easy and not stressful.
I didn’t want to eat another one of those bagels, so I got something new, and you know what? Nothing bad happened. And I enjoyed my bagel. That’s when I realized I had done 5 errands, and wasn’t stressed to go out and do something else the next day.
I booked my doctors appt and upped my dosage. I was still experiencing panic from thinking about going out, but could for sure see little differences in my life and way of thinking.
Can I encourage you that if anxiety is ruling your life, go talk to your doctor about the right course of action for you.